To long ago already I promised you to share more about Poppy, the ‘stray’ cat that lives in our garden. Since I wrote part two of her story, also in April, she has become very ill. As we speak I am nursing her inside our home hoping she will recover. I feel now it is time to share more of sweet Poppy.

Poppy has been living with us now for almost five years.

When I think back I remembered that we sometimes saw Poppy in the garden. As soon as she heard or saw us she ran away and hide. The first spring she was around Eric and I were devastated because she hunted and ate all the young birds in the garden. We used to have all kinds of birds around. So we decided to leave some cat kibble outside.

‘Little by little Poppy melted’

Maybe it would stop her from eating the birds. (How funny we were back then). It would also be healthy for her because she didn’t look too good.

Little by little Poppy melted. At first she was a ghost walking around. When we thought we saw a glimpse of her she vanished even more quickly. Gradually she got used to us and to the delicious food. She didn’t like touching though for a very long time. I have felt her claws more than I like. Our contact grew and changed. She started to like stroking on her back now and then.

Things changed suddenly when Blackie made his appearance. Blackie is our second stray cat. We caught Blackie in the act when he was sleeping in our henhouse at night. At first we chased him away, there were enough cats in our life, and he was already the 13th stray cat that crossed our path, but in the end Blackie also found his way to our heart.

Poppy was doing really well, so discovering Blackie made us worry about what it would do to the situation. Poppy didn’t like him a bit. And also Eric thought we had enough cats around. In the end Blackie won.

One summer I couldn’t resist Blackie when he jumped on my lap. Seeing Blackie enjoying the sunshine on my lap Poppy got jealous. I wouldn’t believe animals could be jealous but seeing Poppy’s jealousy it surprised me. It took some time, but finally Poppy discovered the luxury of being on someone’s lap too.

The trust in each other has grown bigger and bigger over time and just last fall I could put my arms around Poppy and hold her. It made me feel so happy. One day she might get sick and I need to handle her to take her to a vet.

To make it comfortable for Poppy and Blackie we rebuilt the old henhouse into a sleeping place for them, with separate bedrooms. They live outdoors all year around and get a thick warm coat in winter. I love it when they play together in the snow, running around like mad cats.

Poppy keeps amazing me. She will always be on her guard around people, but I don’t think the progress has stopped. Cats do have an amazing capability to learn new things. From wild cat Poppy has turned into a purring sweetheart. From running away and hiding herself she has changed into my shadow. When she hears waking up sounds from the house in the morning she is at the kitchen door.

Poppy has chosen to be with us and our love for each other makes her change. It wouldn’t be fair anymore to call poppy a ‘stray’ cat. She isn’t, she is a member of our little family. I know there will be a day that there is more room in our house and Poppy and Blackie will be living inside if they like to.

Ik heb het gedaan!! Voor de eerste keer ooit heb ik vier foto’s ingestuurd voor een fotowedstrijd. En wat voor één. Het is de internationale fotowedstrijd One Life.

‘Summer Traditions’ and Silhouettes of Summer’ zijn heel spontaan ontstaan tijdens mijn deelname aan de e-class Picture Summer van Tracey Clark in 2010. Juli was nog nooit zo zomers.

Sterre (Summer Traditions) kon niet stoppen met kerseneten en het maakte niet uit dat daarbij haar gehele gezicht paars werd van het sap.

Ik vroeg Eric (Silhouettes of Summer) of hij mijn model wilde zijn om mijn idee van het krijgen van een boot lift uit te beelden. Wat een geluk had ik toen ik een vertrekkend cruise schip bij de Maas aantrof.

‘Now There Is No Looking Back’ en ‘Peek A Boo’ zijn ontstaan bij twee prachtige fotosessies met klanten.

De twee paarden (Now There Is No Looking Back) hadden zoveel plezier in de sneeuw dat ik genoeg mogelijkheden kreeg om dat vast te leggen.

En Monster (Peek A Boo) veranderde van een hilarische bezige bij in een lief en verlegen jongetje.

Op mijn foto’s stemmen kan, graag zelfs. Ik kan niet wachten tot de uitkomst in september.

I did it!! For the first time ever I have entered photos in a photo competition. I never thought I would dare to participate in a photo competition, but it feels so good. It is the international photo competition One Life.

I created ‘Summer Traditions’ and ‘Silhouettes of Summer’ while participating in the e-class Picture Summer by Tracey Clark.

Sterre (Summer Traditions) couldn’t stop eating cherries and didn’t care at all that her face got covered in juice.

I asked Eric (Silhouettes of Summer) to be my model to express my idea of hitchhiking a boat. How lucky I was to find a cruise ship leaving the port.

‘Now There Is No Looking Back’ and ‘Peek a Boo’ were created working with clients.

The two horses loved the snow and gave me plenty of opportunity to create this beauty.

And Monster (Peek A Boo) turned from a hilarious busy bee into a sweet shy little boy.

Feel free to vote for me. Can’t wait till September.

We wish we could have told you in words you’d understand,
we wanted you to stay with us.
This wasn’t what we’d planned.
We wish that we could tell you how empty we now feel.
A part of us went with you,
a part that time can’t heal.
We wish we’d once more hear you and your softly, rumbling purr,
and hold you on our laps again and stroke your silken fur.
We wish we had you back again,
to fill this empty space,
but one day we’ll be together in a far, far better place.

Vorige week woensdag was een verdrietige dag. Heel onverwachts en veel te snel hebben we afscheid van elkaar moeten nemen.

Dat je er niet meer bent is ondenkbaar en onwerkelijk. We zijn 17 jaar samen geweest en dat je weg zou gaan leek nog zo ver weg.

Twee epileptische aanvallen heb je meegemaakt in één maand. Na de laatste aanval was je veerkracht er niet meer. Jouw vertrouwde zelf verdween binnen korte tijd en ik voelde dat je niet lang meer zou blijven. Veel te snel hebben we de beslissing moeten nemen om je te laten gaan.

Tijd samen is nooit lang genoeg, dat voel je als het einde nadert. Ik had niet verwacht dat je al zou gaan. Ik ben er nog niet aan toe om zonder jou verder te gaan, lief jochie. Jij bent zo’n deel van mij dat het voelt alsof er in mij iets mist. Een deel van mij is weggegaan met jou.

Het voelt zo vreemd dat je weg bent. Je niet meer in je vertrouwde mandje te zien liggen, niet meer je aanwezigheid te horen als je naar buiten wil of water wil drinken in de douche doet pijn. Zeventien jaar ben je mijn beste maatje geweest. Je was een bijzonder ventje. Altijd dichtbij me. Aandoenlijk, verlegen liefdevol en met zoveel liefde voor mij. We waren een eenheid. Je bent zelfs Eric gaan waarderen in de negen jaar dat je hem kent en andersom ook.

Je kennismaking met de katten van Eric ging wonderbaarlijk goed. Je gedroeg je gepast onverschillig en was een lieve wijze kater. En iedereen had een liefdevol respect voor je. Puk was dol op je. Na een keer samen met haar in de rieten mand te hebben doorgebracht was het ijs gebroken. Van Tom kreeg je gisteren nog een afscheidslik over je bolletje. Binnen was je een watje en buiten een stoere macho. Zelfs op de laatste dag wist Poppy niet hoe snel ze zich uit de voeten moest maken toen je nog een rondje door de tuin maakte. Je had geen flauw benul van je uitstraling.

Samen zijn met jou maakte me gelukkig. De verbondenheid die ik met je heb is zo bijzonder. Ik voelde me blij, warm en veilig als je bij me was. En jij was ook dol op mij. We dansten samen op mijn favoriete muziek. Je hield er van om je uit te rekken in mijn armen. En je bent de enige kat die ik ken die zo lekker rook. Ik hield er van om mijn neus in je nekje te verstoppen en je geur op te snuiven. We hebben intens van elkaar genoten. Eric vertelde me gisteren dat hij aan je kon zien hoeveel je van me hield. Onze band was speciaal.

De laatste weken was je nog meer op mij gericht. Gelukkig heb ik je al de aandacht kunnen geven die je nodig had. En je extra lekker eten geven op het moment dat je trek had.

Op momenten zoals deze is de hoop op een leven na de dood groot. Je niet meer dicht tegen me aan te houden en te knuffelen, je lekkere geur te ruiken en je bijzondere, dikke zwarte staart te voelen doet zo’n pijn.

Vandaag regent het. Dat voelt goed. Het is een passend afscheid voor jou, want mijn hart huilt om jou. Jij hebt een speciaal plekje in mijn hart Jesse. Het draadje dat ons verbindt is onbreekbaar en zal blijven bestaan. Ik mis je en zal altijd van je blijven houden. En ik hoop dat Tipsie en mam nu bij je zijn om jou te troosten.

Als mijn tijd gekomen is dan zien we elkaar weer terug. Lieve schat, lieve Jessebesse ik hou zielsveel van jou! Dank je wel voor onze liefdevolle tijd samen.

Jolanda

We wish we could have told you in words you’d understand,
we wanted you to stay with us.
This wasn’t what we’d planned.
We wish that we could tell you
how empty we now feel.
A part of us went with you,
a part that time can’t heal.
We wish we’d once more hear you and your softly, rumbling purr,
and hold you on our laps again and stroke your silken fur.
We wish we had you back again,
to fill this empty space,
but one day we’ll be together in a far, far better place.

Last Wednesday was a sad day. We had to say goodbye to each other so sudden.

That you aren’t here anymore is unreal and unthinkable. We were together 17 years and the time that you would leave seemed still so far away.

You suffered two epileptic attacks in one month. After the last one your resilience had vanished. The you I knew so well disappeared within short time and I felt that you wouldn’t be around for long. Too soon we had to make the decision to let you go.

Time together is never enough when you know the end is near. I hadn’t suspected that you would leave. I am not ready for a life without you, my sweet one. You are such a part of me that it feels like there is something missing inside of me. A part of me has left with you.

It feels so strange that you aren’t around. Not seeing you sleeping in your favorite spot, not hearing your presence when you need to go outside or drink in the shower hurts so much. For 17 years you were my best friend. A modest, loving, touching and special person, always close and with so much love for me. You even grew fond of Eric in the few years together and Eric couldn’t resist you either.

Your acquaintance with Eric’s cats went miraculously well. You always behaved suitable indifferent, as a sweet and wise cat. They all had loving respect for you. Puk adored you. After a journey together to the vet the ice melted. And Tom gave you sweet kisses on your soft head after you had gone.

Inside the house you were a sweet and kind cat but in the garden you changed into a troublemaker. Even on your last day Poppy had to run for her life when you most innocently had a walk around the garden. You were so unaware of your charisma.

Being together with you made me feel blissful. I felt happy, warm and safe when you were around. And you loved me too. You danced with me in my arms to my favorite music and you loved to stretch yourself in my arms. You are the only cat that I know that smelled so good. I loved to bury my nose in your soft neck and sniff you. We enjoyed each other intensely. Eric told me yesterday that it was so visible for him how much you loved me. The bond we share is so special.

The last weeks you were even more attached to me than usual. Luckily I could spend all my time with you and give you the attention and love you needed.

In moments like this the hope of an existing afterlife is great. Not being able to hold you close and cuddle, smell your special scent and caress your beautiful black tail hurt so much.

Today is a rainy day. That feels like an appropriate farewell because my heart cries for you. You hold a special place in my heart Jesse. The thin thread that connects us is unbreakable and will always be there. I miss you and will love you forever. I hope that Tipsie and mom are with you now to comfort you.

When it is my time to go we will see each other again. My sweet love, beautiful Jessebesse I love you always. Thank you for being you.

Jolanda